I’ve had a rough few months. My family is good, but everything else is crazy hard, right now.
Just sit for a minute.
I have been in tears more times than I can count. I understand that it all works out, but I don’t understand how. Which is the right move? Where is the right step to make it better?
Sometimes, we don’t have it figured out. This is what faith is for.
We have faith in ourselves. We have faith in the future we visualize. We have faith in the successful outcomes of our failures.
We have faith because we must believe something good can come of all of this!
When I am in doubt… when i don’t know what the next move is…
I sit in the chaos and take a breath. Just sit a minute.
It doesn’t solve everything, but it helps to refocus and gather strength for the next round. 💪🏾 🤲🏽
Answering the prompt; Which aspects do you think makes a person unique?
My answer at this time will have to be trauma.
Everyone experiences trauma. Newborns experience the trauma of birth, and the sick and elderly experience the trauma of facing the end of their life and no one is exempt from the traumas in between. How a person handles their trauma makes them unique from everyone else.
No one handles trauma the same. This is a fact that creates differences and relatability in us all. Taking a look back at your life you will see how each traumatic event changed you and, in most ways, helped you to grow. I am no different. Each trauma created a new facet to who I am and helped me get through the next trauma. Some of those traumas actually inspired me and helped me to forge my path. These things that happen to us have a meaning and a depth that we can only understand after they happen. We should all take a step back and ponder how these terrible things help us to grow and blossom into our best selves.
Have to post a blog on Friday, the 13th so everyone knows that it’s just a day….
A wonderful day! All great things happen on Friday the 13th!
I have never thought of any day as “bad” or “unlucky” so, I experience no dissonance when expressing my love for Halloween and Friday the 13th. Always, since childhood, have I been a fan of both… and, lately, I love Mondays, too!
Moments do not know what day it is.
Take the time to create every time you feel like nothing is going your way. A smile counts!
Well, I know not everyone celebrates Christmas, but this story is about Christmas.
My mother has always loved Christmas and I could never figure out why. I have always felt slighted by Christmas… like I had done something wrong to get on Santa’s bad side. I never got what I asked for, nor what I wanted!
Finally, when I was 7 years old, I came across a random toy while looking for something completely different 🙄 around Christmas time. I may or may not have been searching with my brother… yes, of course he would have been my scapegoat. 😁
I didn’t tell my brother I found it; secrets came out of him like pee. I quickly shuffled out of the tiny space and acted like nothing happened. I also told my brother the search was off and I didn’t want to play that game anymore.
A few days later, I opened a gift from under the tree, labeled for me…. and guess what was in there…. yes, it was what I found. I know my face lit up and I squeaked a little at the little Muppets vinyl sticker playset, but my mom’s reaction changed my mindset about Christmas completely.
I still hate Christmas but, for different reasons now.
You see, mom thought I really enjoyed finding that gift. To be honest, I loved it, just not that much. The glee was because I finally got solid proof that I was telling the wrong person what I wanted. That’s why I wasn’t getting it! I really wanted a bike for Christmas. I really wanted a bike EVERY Christmas! That little box taught me lessons on people, family, and Santa 🎅 in that instant.
First, Santa is Black! Second, you are selling yourself short on this idea of Santa. You’ll get way more from your kiddos if they understand that you are the one busting your a$$ to get them a great experience on Christmas morning! Third, this is all about the smile you see on someone else’s face, not that you get what you asked for or not.
Let’s be real; this overproduction of drama doesn’t put anyone in good spirits. I’ve been through the Walmart parking lot this time of year. Not doing that again, ever.
But, that “feel good” Christmas movie you watch every year (my kids love home alone) tugging on the heart and improving the moisture in your eyes, gives you hope that humanity will, once again, value their loved ones smiles over everything.
Should we start by saying that big things come in small packages? Or, maybe mention how small talk brings a big impact? How about my favorite sayng when I was in high school, “I may be small, but I’m mean and mighty”! There are so many ways that the seemingly insignificant has brought about revolutionary change…
Rosa Parks’ exhaustion, Emmitt Till’s mother, numerous accidental discoveries, you name it. The one, tiny change in yourself is the one most important to the world today. That’s the one that brings the next revolutionary impact! It’s all in the way you express what you see. You have to see it first… then, what you make of it is where the magic lies. Do you believe it, or do you let it fade into imagination. Do you breathe life into the revolution or allow it to pass you by?
Freedom of choice may be an illusion, but how you express your discoveries is much more important than that. Your Freedom lies in what you do with what you know!
Now, your expression is an attitude!
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Do not allow the little things to get you down. You’re bigger than that! 🫶🏾
Where some may find me insane, others find me heroic for beginning my masters degree at this time.
Please, allow me to give a little insight; I am currently one month away from being half a century in age, I have 5 children age 2 to 10 in my home, my childcare assistance has been revoked, I just bought a car to fit all of these children into safely and do not have income to cover monthly payments, and my computer crapped out on me.
Ok, now I believe myself to be insane!
I have always believed in doing things with my whole soul involved. I do not feel ready to do this but, I think the Universe has big plans for me!
I want to make a difference in the right way, not just in a big way. I’ve seen too much pain come out of addiction for so many, especially children. I have to be able to do something about this!
In my studies I want to better myself and better my chances of getting through to those that need my help. My responsibility to the children in my care and the parents trying to get help for their babies, this is what pushes me. I need to know that I can make a difference to a family. I need too know that difference will be beneficial to society as a whole.
With this being said, I begin my Masters in Psychology with a solid, heavy goal in mind. I will continue coaching and maintaining my guide status but, will be gaining insight on my clients in a different light. Mindset work is always fluid. Where the flow is taking me now, I only know what I want the feeling to be. I am able to make anything I want from this, and I want to spread my peace.
I will be sharing as much of my journey as I can here. I have no idea how much time I will have to dedicate to blogging when I must write whole papers!
Most of the time, I know what I need to do. There are times that I am not able to do what I know I need to. I struggle with the need to be prepared to assist others in what they ask of me. Fear grips my soul when I realize that I am trying to get someone else to stay on track and I am unable to do the same.
My abilty to practice my profession is hindered by my home life, what I’ve learned about modern socialization and, severe anxiety. These 3 hindrances are currently medically acceptable but, are nothing but excuses to me! My work ethic requires me to be something more than human; something extraordinary. I know this is impossible but, that makes no difference.
My home life consists of raising 6 of my sisters kids after mine have left home! her children are much younger than mine and I find I need the patience of a saint. I do have help from My mom but, We never get a break. At this point, my sisters eldest has been raised and left for the Army (a whole new stress!); so one is out and five more to go. The next eldest is about to turn 10, the youngest almost 3. We have them very active but, this means transportation. l have to keep their schedules as my own. 😇🚗🚘🚙
Modern socialization is purely electronic these days. I am uncomfortable with how people can socialize So easily Just by writing on a web page! If I am not face to face with an individual, I find it very difficult to keep focused. I am often late answering texts and comments on my page. I get distracted and lose focus on the conversation at hand. When I think about it a few days later, I find myself apologizing for not getting back to them sooner! 😕
I first noticed my anxiety When I was coming out of high school. I was hospitalized for stomach pain they couldn’t identify… that was also the beginning of my healing. I have struggled with solutions for myself, my daughter, my sister and my niece. There is some relief in certain medications but, the answer can only be found individually and within the lifestyle. I still struggle, especially socially. I am growing, though. 😩
My motivation lies in that struggle. It did something to me to walk out of the hospital with no answer! I carry with me a 40-year mistrust of the modern medical system. I also carry a passion for helping those that have the same awareness of the significant failures and faults of said system. Our society should be more advanced, medically, than countries that we see as inferior.
🪀… so, in retrospect, my struggle, my motivation, and my courage all stem from the same things. I encourage everyone to explore whatever makes them uncomfortable. It could lead you directly to your strengths!🪄
I’ve been through an enormous amount of pain and struggle. Mostly emotional. My physical strength was never challenged much, but emotionally, I have been to the max more times than I can say. Right now is no exception.
I am currently pushing through the challenge of stagnation in my career.
I’ve been content to just be a parent to my 7 children for the past 2 years, but I need more. The future is depending on my ability to maintain income and build a legacy. I am finding it very difficult to remain on-task when it comes to my profession. I thought it would be easier when school started. Now, there are about 2 months until school is out, and I’ve made very little progress, if any, in my profession. I have not acted on the advice given to me, and I have been withdrawing in my studies.
Like my lazy cat, I’m sleeping on my talents!
Let me be clear; I am not lazy, but any means, just clearly unmotivated.
I like to know exactly what I am doing before expecting others to trust me.
I guess I’m more unsure than unmotivated.
The challenge is actually not in the diagnosis of the situation, it’s in the reasoning. Getting over the temptation to create excuses is the tough part. Just like science; you can reason the guilt out of absolutely anything! Using what evidence you have to validate yourself is the most common science there is. There is nothing lazy about the reasoning, in fact, it takes more energy than one would think. That energy could be put to productive use with a bit more imagination.
This is my belief, anyway.
Putting my anxiety aside to face my fears and thrive seems a small price but, I am unable to pay it.