Your situation is unique to yourself. No one shares the same experience. Something toxic to one may be a simple challenge to another…. and a comfort to still another! We must learn to not generalize toxicity. This may actively generate guilt in others that don’t see it that way.
There are certain situations that require immediate resolution and those that have to be more measured. Tact and thought are essential when dealing with individuals in situations outside of our control. Sometimes, the point of mystery is to activate the curiosity; not everything has to be figured out and definitely, not right away is a meaning seen. The mystery of the individual should remain just that. Each individual encounters many other individuals on their path. Each has a story, a past, a family history thats been passed down, a presence…. each individual is a unique situation upon encountering other unique situations as they walk. We can dive deeper into these situations or continue to only see the surface. It simply depends on what makes us curious enough to do so or not.
When facing challenges, our individual situations come into play to assist us through these situations. My own situation allows me to honor some things that society would find gruesome and disgusting. But I, in turn, find some things honored in our society gruesome and disgusting.
These differences are not only tolerable when kept private but, also necessary to relate to society as a whole. They are also necessary to create certain relationships that will benefit society as a whole and my personal family in general. No one is able to see such a relationship unless they look past what they’ve been told is abuse.
I know exactly what I can take and what I need to give up. I’ve done it many times throughout my life. Some things are painful to give up, even devastating. I know what is beneficial for my prosperity and what is detrimental. I am clairvoyant in that respect. Each of us has to learn this about ourselves. I learn quickly but, still have much to go through! Judging by what I have been through and what I have overcome, I know what toxic looks like. I also have antivenom in my soul.
The point of this writ is to say that judging others as toxic is another diagnostic prejudice that we could do without. Most people with mental disorders and conflicts cannot remain lucid enough to accept help as you see fit. Everyone needs to be met where they are and approached with kindness and purity in their heart. Your personal line can be drawn where it needs to be drawn but, do not presume to draw the lines for anyone else. They will draw their own lines where they see fit without your judgments.
Being told you are in a toxic relationship will not help if that is not how you see it. Nor will it change anything until your line of toxicity is crossed! You will need to be met where you are, as well. And you will respect those that do exactly that. Tolerance and acceptance are useful tools when encountering what you deem toxic in others. Take into consideration what another may see, as well, for you can only change your individual situation.